I've been pondering my insatiable appetite for nicotine as of late, and it comes as no surprise to me that I've got a problem.

I've got an addiction to stimulants of the legal variety.

We're not discussing Amphetamines here. Nor are we talking about the various substances that some use to get high. I'm talking about the substances that let me live out this nice little existence without going out of my fucking mind, let me stay up late, let me work effectively, and let me be creative, and let me be who I am.

The following sentence is partially a realization about myself. It's also a very simple statement:

I am addicted to a couple substances.

There are only two that exist in my world, really, but they allow me to function on a basic level, which is kind of depressing, as I never thought that I'd get to this place, let alone write a blog about it.


This one's nearly vital to my existence. After having my 24 hour cessation (chain of flights to Prague), I now know that I could give this bugger up easier than I originally thought. I had my nic fits, but it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it'd be. I was thinking of taking some drastic measures, including Chew and Snuff. Nicotine Gum and Patches came into my mind, as well, but I decided against them, each with their accompanying reasons.

I was going to see my girlfriend for the first time in 2 months and didn't want that horrifying taste to reside in my mouth. It wasn't something I was quite ready for, and I didn't want to put her through that. Also, spit.

Not only is this stuff old-school, it's disturbing. I don't want to put this shit in my nose. Okay, okay, so when I exhale smoke, it goes out through my nose sometimes. But seriously? I don't want powdered tobacco going through there.

Gums and Patches:
Expensive as fuck. And these don't take care of the "ritual" part.

So how did I cope? There was this non-nicotine gum I found. It's trendy bullshit, but decent nonetheless. It's really the only stuff I've found that holds flavor for as long as it does. It's called 5, and it's good. So what if I didn't get my nicotine? Those fits only last for about 5-10 minutes depending on my stress level at that particular moment, and this helps me get my ritual done. Plus, the packaging is done in a way that fulfills it even more. It's pretty good. This'll come in handy the next time I try to quit.


This stuff is amazing. Seriously. It's probably the one drug on this entire planet that I'll always have a soft spot for. It's been probably the most helpful drug I've ever used.

Let's go back into my history and discuss a topic that's near and dear to my heart:

I have, in the course of a few mere hours, consumed 1 pure gram of caffeine.

Let's give some perspective on this. According to the Caffeine Database, your average Diet Coke contains 45 mg of caffeine. One Rockstar is 160 mg. Starbucks double shot is 130 mg. You can do that math.

How did I do it? When I was 16 (I think), I discovered this lovely syrup called Sky Rocket. It's 100 mg per ounce. Per ounce. That's little more than what's in 2 diet cokes, which would be 24 ounces. Again, you do the math.

Sky Rocket + Diet Coke = Amazing experience for those who want to try to get really fucked on caffeine.

1 comment:

Miss Grace said...

You manage to make your vices sound pretty terrible.